Who Am I?

It seems as though this past year, the Lord has had me on a quest to learn more about not just who I am, but who He created me to be. Now, one friend of mine has a concern that this may be drawing me away from more important things, like getting to know Who He is. But, I see them as going hand in hand. If He created me very uniquely (and He did), does that NOT teach me about Who He is? I believe it does. Also, in that 'package' comes a freedom, and that freedom gives me more incentive to know Who He is. Having had parents who 'squashed' the real me, I've 'fought' to know who I really am for many years of my life. And, this is answer to many prayers I've prayed that He would make me into the woman He created me to be, as most of my life, I've felt I've been light-years aways from that. So, as I've been in the process of becoming the woman He created me to be, I'm 'freed' from that search. I'm freed from self-condemnation for not being whatever it is I think I'm NOT being! sigh...we make things so much more complicated than I think He ever intended.

Anyway...it started with learning what my passions are, and that I even HAD/HAVE passions! Yes, me! I have passions! And guess what? I've had them for a while, just didn't notice them as such. Maybe that doesn't excite you, but it has excited me! Why? For so many years of my life, I just kind of drifted along, day to day, doing whatever 'happened,' like a cork floating on water. No intentional direction...yet, I see His gracious hand, even in that, as He knew me and my background. I don't say this in a hateful way, but my parents never taught me about goals. How could they? They knew little about goals themselves. Their main (only?) goal was to make it to the next paycheck. So, most of my life, 'goal' has been 'a four-letter word' to me. People who accomplish much don't usually have that outlook. At this point, you may be wondering what my passions are. Ok...I'll tell you. Prayer is a top passion for me. People are a top passion for me. Encouraging people is a top passion of mine. And, it's one of my spiritual gifts. In fact, it's the first one I discovered I had! (That's another story...)

Then, on June 5th, I took a one-day class called 'Your One Degree.' All my life, I've never known 'what I want to be when I grow up.' I've tried other 'classes' or online 'tests,' but I was never satisfied with the results. They always somehow seemed to 'misdiagnose' me, I felt. Well, there have been weekly followup classes since. They have really helped me to hone in on my God-given design. I've learned, not just what my spiritual gifts are, (as so many seek, then stop there), but those abilities and skills He's woven into me that ENERGIZE me! (Ok, so now you want to know what THOSE are, right?) Well, sit down, as I'm sure you'll be surprised. (NOT! Unless you don't know me well). I won't mention ALL of them, as many are very similar, but some are: communicating, connecting and empowering. Oh, yes! These are things I LOVE to do and am also GOOD AT! (Now, if you DO know me well, and disagree, PLEASE let me know!)

Now my big question is: How can I utilize these now-identified abilities to support myself? I don't know how to bundle these and drop them into a 'job-classifier' and have a perfect job description pop out! But guess what? There is One Who has already defined all the jobs there are and He's defined many that aren't listed on the job search websites. He's been preparing me and teaching me...now, because He is faithful (even when I am faithless), He will show me what, when and where...in His timing!